Going Back to High School

Don't let the title fool you.  I would NEVER go back and relive those high school days!  However, I did attend my 40th High School Reunion this past weekend.  (Oh no.........did I just reveal my age??)

I had been going back and forth on whether or not to attend.  40 years is a long time, and my usual inner voice crept into my brain:

• No one will remember me - I was a nobody in a class of 680+
• I was a shy wall-flower who blushed easily
• I didn't have many friends that I hung out with outside of school
• I was not in any clubs or extra-curricular activities
• Most of my friends from my Catholic grade school moved on to the Catholic High School
• I was dorky 
• I didn't really date anyone in High School nor go to Homecoming or Prom (which is a total blog post in itself 😭)
• I have Facebook friends from High School, and do they really care if they see me in person?

I was also going to use the excuse of being only 2 weeks post-surgery, however more than one person quickly squashed that one and told me that I would be pretty much ok by then.  Sigh.....out of excuses, so I finally bought my ticket to attend, and bought my husband a ticket as well - you know, for insurance, just in case I needed to have someone to talk to, as I was pretty sure no one would be talking to me.  There were other spouses going, so I knew that on the outside chance I was actually busy talking to people, he would not feel neglected.

The day before the reunion, I saw that there were going to be some former classmates that would be gathering at the local downtown pub - kind of a pre reunion, if you will. One of my friends, Mary, was going to be there, so I decided to go. Mind you, my high school self would NEVER have done something like that in a million years, however my adult self felt somewhat comfortable, as I am familiar with the place, and I knew that at least Mary would be there.  I considered this a good ice breaker for me, so that walking into the actual reunion the next day might be a bit easier.

Thankfully, Mary was standing outside when I arrived, so I was able to go in with her.   Surprise to me - people actually remembered me!  People that in my high school days I considered "popular", and that I had no real connection with back then, remembered me and were genuinely happy to see me! What??  I had such a good time talking to people that night - and found that many of them felt the same way I did - that no one would remember them or care about who they were now.  (As a side note, I am the Exec. Director for our local Chamber of Commerce, so more than once I had people referring to me as the Queen of our Village - hah - not even close, but thank you for making me feel like I'm a "somebody" instead of how I saw myself 'back in the day".)

The actual reunion itself was really a nice event.  I was able to get over myself and my anxieties, and actually go up to people that I remembered.  Hubby hung with all of the other "plus ones" that he already knew, so he did not feel a bit out of place.  I found that the majority of the girls (ok, women, but that night we were all back in high school, so girls) looked very much recognizable, whereas I found that many of the guys were not.  All in all, however, we have aged pretty well, if I do say so myself! 

One of the people I reconnected with was Char - someone that I remember fondly from back then. She and I were messaging the other day.  We both commented on how we felt like no one liked us in high school, but as adults, we now find that it was really the exact opposite. Too bad it only took us 40 years to realize it.  She made a comment that struck me: "Isn't it amazing how we perceive ourselves, versus how others actually see us?"

I have come a long way since 1973 -1977.  That shy girl is for the most part gone. Although the feelings do creep in at times, I do my best to push them off.   I know that we all have the same feelings of inadequacy, so I make myself remember that.  I know that if I am the first to approach someone  and say something, the acknowledgement will usually be welcome.  This has taken me YEARS to be comfortable with, though - trust me!

So in 10 more years, we will all be just a few years away from turning 70.  Well, except for me.  When I turned 50, I started counting backwards.  I am now only 42.  So if I decide to start counting up again, I will only be in my early 50's in time for the 50th reunion - wink, wink 😄 .